By: Ryo Nozawa
As the academic year is coming to an end, the campus is bustling with excitement, stress, worry, and basically all the emotions that encompass the human experience. Seniors are slowly saying quiet goodbyes to the place they knew most familiar for the past four years and the freshmen are awaiting the next few years with a naivete smile. As many of us know, coming to college is one of the most nerve-wracking and fortunate moments in one's life. It is us closing the chapter of everything familiar and embarking on a new place with new people and new experiences. As a second semester freshman, I look back on my first month and semester and think of my mistakes and successes. There were many moments when I thought I was doing the right thing at the right time but I quickly realized that my perfectionist mentality just doesn't cut it. If I could, I would love to go back in time and give some advice to myself. Since I can’t do that, I will be sharing my tips for the incoming freshmen.
1) You will find your friends…and it is okay to lose some.
The biggest worry of an incoming freshman is fitting in and making friends. No one wants to feel isolated, especially in an unfamiliar place.There is going to be an overwhelming fear that no one will like you or that you aren’t making friends with the right people. However, I promise you, you will find your people. I will also guarantee that the friends you made at orientation or the first few days probably will not be your forever, closest friends. You may see them around campus and you will smile and wave but the people that you will spend the most time with will come naturally and gradually. You will know when you click with someone or who you feel awkward around. Don’t forget that in many cases, your friend group will not solidify until the latter half of your college experience. Everyone is in the same place, we all want to fit in. If you lose friends along the way of finding the ones you feel comfortable with, do not dwell on it for too long. The best thing about college is that if you don’t vibe with someone, you can easily move on and find others that do. There are endless possibilities with so many unique individuals, do not limit yourself and do not be afraid to reach out.
2) Get over it...he’s just a frat boy.
If there is one thing I consistently say to all my friends it is “get over it”. Not because I am rushing them or that I am being brutal, but because it is almost always Just. Not. That. Deep. So the guy you met at the frat last night didn’t text you back after he confessed his ever-infinite love for you. Get. Over. It. He was probably wasted and thought you looked like his ex. I am not saying that I have never overthought. It is easy to allow boy-ish (or girl-ish) matters to consume you and your head but in retrospect, you will be okay. Allow yourself to feel however you feel for a moment but then snap yourself back to reality and get over it. Most of the time, they do not deserve your time, energy, and living in your mind rent free. That boy probably won’t matter in the next week, let alone the next month. For the first year, focusing on getting to know friends and yourself is so important. Coming to college has taught me my boundaries, limits, wants, and so much more. It has forced me to face myself and to learn to cater to my feelings and thoughts. So, the next time you think about that guy that doesn’t treat you correctly, remind yourself: Get. Over. It.
3) Say hi!
This advice is fairly simple. Say hi to the people in your halls, in class, in the laundry room, everywhere. This stays the most effective during the beginning months when everyone is trying to make friends and get to know people. A simple “hi” and a smile can lead to friendships, networking opportunities, etc. Not only that, it just feels nice to be greeted at and it can improve your day and theirs. Especially with those in your dorms, it is nice to see a familiar face and catch up in the halls since it creates a more friendly environment and it expands your network of friends/acquaintances.
4) Don’t skip your classes! (I still do it)
Now…the final advice is one that I still constantly need reminding of. Do not skip your classes. If you do it once, you will do it till the end of the semester. Especially that gen-ed class that you have no interest in…it is hard to consistently show up. However, my reminder for myself is that every class that I do not go to, I am wasting my money. Tuition is expensive and in this economy, we gotta take whatever we can get. I promise you, you will feel so much more fulfilled by the end of the semester if you actually showed up and learned new information. The worst feeling for me was ending my classes and feeling like I didn’t progress academically because I did not try to. I still made sure all my work was done in time but I never absorbed or processed my first semester's large lectures. I promise you, it is worth going to class.
By no means is freshman me a know-it-all and I cannot guarantee that you won’t make mistakes in your first year but regardless, you should. In fact, I want you to and I will continue to. We will all make mistakes, sometimes grave ones, but the only way we can learn how to do the right things is if we do the wrong things. My freshman year has been a blessing and I have learned so much in the past year about myself and those around me. I have met people from all walks of life and I have taken their stories as learning experiences and it has been a blessing. As a freshman, I am so excited for the next three years. For the incoming freshmen, remember to enjoy every moment and remain graceful in everything you do.