Rebranding the Word Selfish

By: Jane Tecu

Starting at a young age, we are taught that selfish is a negative word. Being selfish is considered taboo and something that we should strive to avoid. Google defines selfishness as “lacking consideration of others; concerned with one's own personal profit or pleasure.”

All my life, I have viewed being selfish as an immoral characteristic and would be insulted if someone ever referred to me as such. However, these last few months have allowed me to give the concept of selfishness deeper thought. Like many others, I find myself in situations that require me to think about myself and what is healthy and what is not. With so many negative connotations associated with the word selfish, perhaps it keeps us from prioritizing ourselves, especially in difficult situations. Is it always wrong to put our own needs first?

Rebranding involves changing the image of something. I think the time has come to rebrand the word selfish. Doing what serves our well-being, even when it disappoints others or goes against societal expectations, is ultimately a way to care for ourselves. We don’t need to explain it or justify it. We all have the right to make choices that allow us to be healthy in ourselves and in our relationships.

It can be good to remind yourself that:

●      It’s okay to want or need alone time.

●      It’s okay to say no.

●      It’s okay to need help. 

●      It’s okay to set boundaries.

I would even go so far as to say these things are not only okay but necessary to be a balanced and functioning adult. These things are needed if we want to thrive.

What if we took the stigma out of being selfish so that it wasn’t seen as a negative but instead as a normal and healthy way of considering our own needs? To me, being selfish means putting myself first rather than last. By setting healthy and necessary boundaries, I can better focus on my own needs and, from there, better able to figure out what I really have to offer those I care for and love. That ultimately builds stronger relationships—with both myself and those around me. So, here’s to being selfish by truly supporting ourselves!

To Be Little Women

By: Ryo Nozawa

The Little Women story has influenced and followed me in every step of my life. From reading it in Japanese as a child to seeing it on the big screen years later, it never ceases to leave me wide eyed and warm. A story written by Louisa May Alcott-showcasing the lives of each member of the March family-its lines, speeches, and emotional prowess continue to imbue me with vigor, hope, and grace for the world around me. At her core, Jo is a dynamic and impassioned young woman, representing the possibility for more than the confining standards of the nineteenth century. She is “boyish”, hot-tempered, and impulsive but she is curious. Jo is consistently lured and seduced by the world around her, as she navigates her path and purpose in life. She acts as a beacon of hope and early-feminism for those who wanted more than what was expected of them. To evidently juxtapose her, Meg stands as a wife, a mother, and a girl who hopes for the simplicity of a nuclear family. She is a parallel of her mother, compassionate and temperamental. By taking these two contrasting characters, I hope to solicit understanding and empathy for both of their paths. 

Growing up is a daunting experience for all, as it works to reconcile our fluid passions with reality and its seemingly cemented molds. For Jo, she finds solace in writing and taking a more unconventional approach to life. At that time, a woman was expected to fall in love, marry, and bear children. However, she-and many other women-found that expectation to be unfulfilling. We all know her story. We understand what it means to be a woman and to want more. Post-war modernity allowed for a long-awaited transformation for women, especially in western countries, but just how much has changed? The deep cracks in our everyday lives and our minds-well-solidified by the patriarchy and thousands of years of indoctrination-still stand to remind us of our society’s flaws. Yet, emerging from all of this, Jo’s raw vulnerability has always inspired me to be ambitious and chase for independent success but also allow myself grace for the simpler things in life. For her, it was wanting to be loved. Perhaps, her story teaches us that making a name for yourself is important especially as a woman, but independently, it may not always be fulfilling. Finding a balance could be the key to true happiness.

I believe that it would be a disservice to the discourse if I did not mention the more neglected March sister, Meg. She is compassionate and good, she is feminine and dutiful. I believe that she is largely forgotten because of what she wants. Her dreams are dimmed by Jo’s commanding aspirations but Meg confronts this notion and reminds Jo that “just because my dreams are different than yours, it doesn’t mean they’re unimportant”. This quote struck me to be significant and ultimately inspired me to write this. Despite approaching life in a more traditional fashion than Jo, it does not suggest that her dreams of being a mother and having a family should be relegated to her being a docile wife. It does not take away from her as a person and more importantly, as a woman. I think that as discussions of making oneself into something and creating a world for women to become successful, it can be easy to grimace at those who give up their jobs or economic opportunities to fulfill other aspects of their lives. However, we all want different things and I think that for me, Meg is a character that represents a girl hoping for a family like the one she grew up in and dreaming of another kind of fulfillment than Jo-and that is okay. Jo is enlivened by books and Meg by unconditional love. 

I suppose the point of this commentary is to say that it is okay to want different things, even at different times of our lives. You do not have to just be a ‘Meg’ or a ‘Jo’, you can be both! We are never confined to just one path and they are never set in stone. Being a woman during this time is to understand and offer grace to those that do not “fit” all the values you possess. Never be quick to judge another person and never assume that your aspirations are more important. If we establish more confining molds for ourselves beyond the ones already placed, we soon will lose space to grow. The Little Women story continues to offer hope for all individuals navigating a world of endless possibilities and like Meg reminds us, just because your dreams may be different from the person beside you, it does not mean they are any less important.

Branching Out and Building Connections: A Brief Recap of the 2024 Women of Isenberg Conference

By: Jane Tecu

On Saturday, February 10, I had the privilege of attending the 11th annual Women of Isenberg Conference, a full-day opportunity for students to hear directly from professionals, share their experiences, and expand their networks. For those who could not attend the conference, my recap hopefully will give you some insight and motivate you to attend next year.

The conference started with an inspiring keynote address from Shachar Scott, Vice President for Marketing at Meta’s Reality Labs, who shared her empowering journey to reach her current position. I felt extremely lucky to hear how Scott overcame hurdles to achieve her aspirations. Her story and career path seemed to resonate with many of the conference’s attendees.

Next, there was the opportunity to attend a variety of break-out sessions featuring Isenberg graduates and faculty. The workshops emphasized career-building strategies and offered motivational tips to help women navigate the work world. I went to Tech Trailblazers: Woman Shaping the Digital Transformation, with panelists Ashley Scala, a private wealth advisor at Goldman Sachs; Alaina Adams, a senior product manager in sustainability at Google; and Brittany Keller, a strategy manager at PayPal. I came away with a deeper understanding of the importance of clear communication and motivation to continue to learn. Other sessions throughout the day covered topics such as workplace politics, women in entrepreneurship, personal brand strategy, cultural inclusion, building connections, and more.

 At lunch, the conference organizers seated undergraduate students, graduate students, faculty, and alumni together, offering the opportunity to strike up conversations and network with your tablemates.

As informative as the conference was, events like this can be difficult for someone who considers themselves an introvert or has social anxiety. Being assigned to a table with strangers and surrounded by successful leaders, CEOs, and entrepreneurs can feel like a lot of pressure. Many of these individuals felt unapproachable and that felt overwhelming in the beginning. At the same time, it’s important to remind yourself that you have every right to approach them and make connections—that’s part of what a conference is for. Once I reminded myself of this, I was able to feel more comfortable and confident with the people at my table and ended up having some meaningful conversations and making some connections.

For me and anyone else who might need to hear it: When building your future, it’s essential to branch out beyond your comfort zone if you want to grow. The Women of Isenberg Conference is a great opportunity to practice doing that.

Surviving Winter Break

By: Caroline Tierney

If you’re anything like me, you look forward to catching your breath during winter break… until a week in when the cold takes your breath for you! The fall semester always flies by, and I find myself eagerly awaiting winter break every year. However, a week or two in, I often find myself bored, perhaps a little lonely, and overall less satisfied. This makes sense considering we go from constant socialization in classes five days a week and hanging out with peers on the weekends, to moving back home with families or even staying in Amherst by yourself. Winter break is a quick, yet subtle change that most of us gloss over. A few things I have learned in my past three winter breaks that have gotten me through are listed below.

1. Sounds silly but, get sunshine everyday. Better yet, get it right when you wake up. It can be difficult enough to get out of bed and grab breakfast in the kitchen, let alone put on a coat and gloves and go outside. However, I have found that by taking a step outside and breathing in some cold air starts my day off right.

2. Pick up a new hobby. I recently purchased a harmonica, and plan to become a “harmonimaster” by February 1. Whatever your harmonica is, pick up an old hobby, find a new one, or better yet try something new with a friend!

3. Routine. Routine. Routine. Going back home for winter break can make it easy to lose all sense of routine. But maintaining some form of routine will keep you happier and you’ll probably feel more accomplished. Whether it is waking up at 9 AM Monday to Friday and doing a few yoga poses or stretches in bed, or going to bed every night at 11 PM, you’ll thank yourself for holding some level of discipline when it comes to routine.

4. Keep exercising. Again, this one is tough. When it feels like there is only sun from 9 AM to 4:00 PM everyday, there is little motivation to get moving. Whether it’s a walk, inside yoga routine, low impact workout, spin class, etc, you’ll never regret moving your body.

5. Disconnect. While our phones and watching TV/movies are great short term distractions, they only fill a void for a limited amount of time. When you get the urge to reach for your phone to scroll on social media, channel that energy into reaching for something new. While this is a difficult habit to break, and requires conscious effort, you will train yourself to reach for more fulfilling ways of passing time.

6. Cook good food. Lean into your body’s desire to eat warm, comforting food all winter. Make those tomato soups and grilled cheeses, make those pots of chili, eat homemade mac and cheese, bake those holiday cookies. This is something that I personally do because I find creativity in the food I make. The winter is an excuse to enjoy carb heavy, cheesy, warm, comforting meals. 

Remember to be kind to yourself, and lean into the changes as they come!

How to Balance Work and School When Life’s Chaos Happens…

By: Patricia Bibeau

For each person, school provides its own difficulties. For some, it’s maintaining a work-life balance, for others it is procrastination (don’t worry most people face this but many will not admit to it), other’s is how to create time for school and friends, and the list continues. Not only does it take time – especially as a full-time student – to even figure out what works best for you, but it is more challenging to maintain it. Trust me, I know…. Recently, I had undergone through surgery for a medical issue that had been going on for about 5 months. This whole experience came with its own waves of frustration and anger, while also bringing mental toughness and strength to me. Needless to say, I am glad that it is over with and done as it was not the issue itself that brought me struggle, but rather the effects it had on my school-life balance. There were months where I had to travel home for back-to-back appointments which, in turn, meant I missed handful of weekends with my roommates and friends, and instead had to sit in traffic on my way to a cold patient room. Though it had upset me to miss the best aspects of fall here at UMass, the most frustrating part was having to keep up with my workload as I was facing this challenge.

As I am sure we all know, life’s chaos does not pause everything else around us, instead, it feels like we must run 50 mph to just catch up. I especially felt this for the week leading up to my surgery and the week coming back right in time for finals. Everything was nonstop, constantly working, putting in hours at the library, eating when I can and honestly remember to, and trying to have an ounce of a social life while working with everything else simultaneously. Adaptation and flexibility are so important during these moments and learning what works best for you to prepare for when life’s chaos happens. I’m going to share with you helpful tips that personally helped me get through the toughest weeks this past semester. Take what you want from it, add to it, change it up, but hopefully there will be some piece that you can ultimately utilize.

1.     Create a To-Do List

I get it, it sounds silly and it’s not like we are going grocery shopping or have chores/errands we need to do, but there is an element of satisfaction when getting through the list, crossing items off one-by-one. I find it best to color-code, one colors per class, club, organization, etc. as it helps me visually remember what I need to do per class. The most important part is to add the due date for each assignment, this way, every time you look at it you can see it clearly in front of you and it will help with remembering the assignments the day the assignments are due.

2.     Make a Schedule

After you make a to-do list, it can be helpful to create a schedule in the beginning of the week or Sunday night and write down each assignment, incorporate breaks, whether it’s to grab food or take a walk or even to go the gym and implement some sort of exercise into your day. With a schedule, especially on stressful weeks, it makes it easier having an idea of what to expect, while also staying on track, keeping yourself accountable, and taking care of tasks more efficiently. When making a schedule, make it fun! I understand that making a schedule from scratch can be time consuming, so keep in mind that there are so many resources that can be used that has templates that can utilized to make your schedule fit your style, all in a timely manner.

Some great websites: Gizmoa, ScheduleMaker.io, Adobe, and Canvas…truly so many free sites online.

3.     Breaks & Eating

I cannot stress enough how important it is to keep breaks within your schedule. It is not healthy for our brains to be under mental constraint when studying over long periods of time. As humans, we need mental breaks. Not only does it help keep stress levels down, but more information is retained with healthy breaks set. Additionally, it crucial that we keep moving our bodies, whether it is joining a yoga or spin class, taking a walk, or a quick jog. Movement is so incredibly important to keep a healthy mind. Along with movement…I cannot emphasize this enough: eat good, nutritious food. What we eat correlates to our mood, our function, our processing, etc. Having a healthy balanced meal not only fills you up, but it also helps in the long run especially when needing to focus up during stressful weeks.

4.     Away with the Distractions

I hate to break it to you, but that phone of yours needs to be out of sight and out of mind. Phones can be so distracting no matter how hard it is to efficiently work on something with your full attention while your phone is next to you. I won’t lie, I’ve been distracted at least seven times since beginning to write this which just proves to you how easy it can be to hop onto your phone and start scrolling through some social media app. Personally, I find it helpful to take whatever it is that distracts me and place in one room or in a bag zipped up and have it out of my direct sight of vision. This helps because as said before, out of sight and out of mind.

There are probably a hundred other items that could be added to the list such as picking an instrumental playlist (currently in love with Spotify’s “Deep Focus” playlist whilst my roommates are in long term relationships with various mid 1500s classical music playlists), setting a bedtime, set a time to put all of the work away for the rest of the day, or even have a sticker book, a color book, or any other book to look forward to when resting. Another point is to reach out to professors especially if you are facing a very challenging point in life. Nine out the ten times they will try to help you as much as they can. If not a professor, then look at the resources on campus! There are hundreds of different resources that are here to help you grow and thrive, so might as well make use of the tools and resources given to us. Regardless of all the stress you may be facing, know that this is only a moment in time and as time goes on, the less amount of time there is where you still must face this moment. Good luck y’all, you got this!!

P.S. The Mind Explained is a great documentary show on Netflix that really opened my mind on various topics that relate to our brain’s functions. This was a great warm-up-on-the-treadmill-show for me as it is super informational, and I was able to take great key points away. I want to recommend this show as it was super informational and helpful!