By: Jane Tecu
Starting at a young age, we are taught that selfish is a negative word. Being selfish is considered taboo and something that we should strive to avoid. Google defines selfishness as “lacking consideration of others; concerned with one's own personal profit or pleasure.”
All my life, I have viewed being selfish as an immoral characteristic and would be insulted if someone ever referred to me as such. However, these last few months have allowed me to give the concept of selfishness deeper thought. Like many others, I find myself in situations that require me to think about myself and what is healthy and what is not. With so many negative connotations associated with the word selfish, perhaps it keeps us from prioritizing ourselves, especially in difficult situations. Is it always wrong to put our own needs first?
Rebranding involves changing the image of something. I think the time has come to rebrand the word selfish. Doing what serves our well-being, even when it disappoints others or goes against societal expectations, is ultimately a way to care for ourselves. We don’t need to explain it or justify it. We all have the right to make choices that allow us to be healthy in ourselves and in our relationships.
It can be good to remind yourself that:
● It’s okay to want or need alone time.
● It’s okay to say no.
● It’s okay to need help.
● It’s okay to set boundaries.
I would even go so far as to say these things are not only okay but necessary to be a balanced and functioning adult. These things are needed if we want to thrive.
What if we took the stigma out of being selfish so that it wasn’t seen as a negative but instead as a normal and healthy way of considering our own needs? To me, being selfish means putting myself first rather than last. By setting healthy and necessary boundaries, I can better focus on my own needs and, from there, better able to figure out what I really have to offer those I care for and love. That ultimately builds stronger relationships—with both myself and those around me. So, here’s to being selfish by truly supporting ourselves!