By: Julia Eline-Wright
Listed below are 20 lessons I have learned over the course of my life so far that have gotten me through the ups and downs. A lot of these I wish I had learned sooner, therefore I want to share them with you in hopes that you can also learn from them and apply them to your lives. Only take what resonates with you and remember that these are simply things I have learned from my experiences! (:
You need to be your own best friend
Spending time with yourself is critical! Do things for yourself you wish other people would do for you. Buy yourself flowers or take yourself out to a nice dinner. Spend an entire day binge-watching your favorite show and belly laughing all night. Learning to love your own company is truly so fulfilling.
Not everything is a competition
In the society we live in it is SO easy to compare yourself to others. With social media being such a huge part of our lives today it has increased our access to other people. One thing that is important to remember is that on social media people tend to only show the positive things that happen to them. When you find yourself stalking some lifestyle blogger or your favorite influencer on Instagram that seems like they have their stuff together and are superhuman, realize that they are just like you. They have their bad days too. That being said, when you see all the amazing things going on for them do not equate them to inadequacies in your own life! Someone else’s successes are not your failures!
Not everyone has to like you
Everyone in this world is different so it is okay to not get along with each person you meet. To turn this into something positive, think of it this way: you can learn more from the people you do not get along with than you can from the people that you do get along with.
What other people think about you is none of your business
Other people’s opinions of you do not matter if you know who you are and who you are not. In high school, all I cared about was my image and what other people thought about me. Looking back at those times I was genuinely so unhappy and wish someone would have told me that my own opinion of myself is the only one that actually matters.
Having a small group of genuine friends is better than a large group of acquaintances
As a transfer student, on top of the pandemic, something that I have really been struggling with is making friends. This was especially hard for me at first because in high school I always had someone to hang out with and never felt this feeling of loneliness. Now looking back and reflecting on all the petty drama and “tea” that went on has made me realize that I only had a handful of real genuine friends. I would rather have a few genuine friends than a bunch of “friends” that I do not actually connect with. That is why I have been focusing on growing the friendships I currently have and not forcing any new ones. When the time is right you will find your people (whether that be in college or not)!
Celebrate the little victories
The small victories in life are just as important as the big ones, start treating them as such! With a world full of so much negativity, celebrating the positives is so important.
Only stress over what you can control
There is simply no point in working yourself up over something when you literally have no control of the outcome. This puts unnecessary negative feelings onto yourself and does not serve you in any way. Remembering this even in small situations and taking a deep breath can be the deciding factor between keeping your cool and having a full-on panic attack.
It is okay to be wrong
Sometimes you are going to be wrong, and that is okay! Admitting your faults is so important and healthy. Pretending that you are always right can come across as ignorant and may make a situation a bigger deal than you were intending.
Don’t try to fit in
Everyone is unique in their own ways. Trying to fit in with everyone else whether it is sticking to the same basic clothes, listening to specific music, or participating in the same activities, is hiding who you really are. If you really like what everyone else seems to be doing, then do it! What I want to make clear is that you should not do something if you are just doing it to fit in.
Everything happens for a reason
When things do not go exactly how I have planned them I try to remember that everything that has happened in my life, good or bad, has led me to exactly where I am right now. I am so grateful for where I am right now and everything that has happened to me because I have learned so much. Don’t try to be too controlling of what goes on in your life, everything will work out the way it is supposed to.
Be generous
Being a kind and generous person is so rewarding. The feeling of helping someone and not expecting something in return is illuminating and changes your outlook on life.
A positive mindset will take you far
I really try to have a positive outlook on life and not get caught up in all the evil lingering out there. Trying to turn negative situations into positive ones has really made an impact in my life and has made me stop taking things so seriously when I don’t need to.
Try everything once
Something I am currently still working on is sheltering myself less. I am a young, intelligent, beautiful woman, so why am I holding myself back from doing things? Trying new things can open you up to experiences and opportunities you never would have expected. You never know what may happen!
Take care of yourself
Self-love is so important yet often overlooked. I feel like we are constantly so focused on showing love to other people, trying to be a good sibling, son/daughter, or significant other that we don’t make enough time for ourselves. Self-love can be shown in so many ways. Recently I’ve been showing myself love by going to spin and yoga classes which I have been loving. You can also show yourself love by fueling your body properly and making sure you are keeping yourself healthy.
A little bit of embarrassment is better than a lifetime of regret
I started a YouTube channel after years of wanting to but being too afraid that people would make fun of me or have something negative to say. Guess what, who cares what other people think! If something serves you then do it. It is better to have said you tried than regret that you didn’t.
Spend more time with your loved ones
Spending time with family is so important. I know family dynamics are different for everyone, but in my situation, I have found that the more time I spend with family and the more I water those relationships, the happier I feel. Appreciate and show your family love until you no longer can. You can learn so much from your older relatives. Don’t be afraid to ask them for advice, they might end up surprising you.
Always look for the good in the bad
You can find something positive in every bad situation. Your mindset is what allows you to do this or not. Do you want to dwell on the negatives, or focus on the highlights? It is up to you! Don’t let bad situations control you!
If it doesn’t serve you, ditch it
Always remember that it is okay to say no. It is okay to change your mind. You are never really stuck in a situation, and this has given me a lot of reassurance in my decision-making. If you are involved in something and have given it 100%, but you still are not sure if it is right for you, then don’t do it.
It is okay to fall apart
You do NOT need to be on your “A-game” 100% of the time. Let’s be real, life is hard! Everyone struggles whether they want to admit it or not, and that is okay! Trying to be perfect all the time is draining and unrealistic. When you feel like crying, cry. When you feel like screaming, scream. Stop trying to suppress your negative feelings and instead feel them fully, because life is not supposed to be happy all the time. Also, if you are struggling don’t forget to reach out for help! Seeking help is NEVER a sign of weakness!
Self-acceptance
The one true constant we have in life is ourselves. Accepting yourself is probably the most important piece of advice that I could give anyone. Your skin is beautiful, your natural frizzy hair is beautiful, your nose is beautiful, your stretch marks are beautiful, you are beautiful. Stop hating on yourself and start loving yourself instead. It is freeing. (:
